A lot has changed, relationships, where I'm living, career and many other things but I doubt I will go into that now.
The wonderful world of a nerd changes often, sometimes subtly other times with a foundation shaking earthquake and thats whats happened recently. Right now I'm standing outside CAFOD in waterloo and today the streets of London seem somewhat more relaxed... no relaxed is the wrong word, more...subdued. In the last few minutes alone I've seen several unmarked police cars wailing and screeching along the streets, people are more sombre. One gentleman even came up and hugged me on the underground saying "I'm sorry for what you have all faced".
The news has been awash with what recently transpired in Westminster, the news tells us it was terrorist action, an attack on democracy or a man who lost his mind.
I've been trying to get it all straight in my mind and with the attitude of everyone in England today, in the UK be they foreign or uk born and the sombre atmospher i would have to agree with all the various news articles. It does feel like an attack on democracy, it does feel like a terrorist act. And I'm left just as ambivilant as I was yesterday. I dont know how to or what I should be feeling at a time like this, although having said that... I just turned onto Westminster Bridge and the firt thing I see is parliment house. The bridge is busy, but somehow not as busy as it usually is at 1pm. Helicopters still flying a vigil, police officers walking the beat across the bridge and things are quiet.
Flowers line the railings, news crews shooting b roll, people huddled together sobbing. If I had to choose a piece of music to mark what today and the last few days have felt like in the city or at least my own feelings I would have no other choice than to say the red weed or dead london from Jeff Waynes The War Of The Worlds.
It's strange to be walking here, there's a feeling that things aren't quite the same and in reality they aren't. Even with the phorensic tents abscent, car wreckage now gone and blood stains no longer visible it all feels so fresh as if it only just happened and not a few days ago.
It's sometime later now, I shed my tears while gazing down at the Thames, said my silent prayers and thoughts as I looked up at Parliment House and the tower which holds a national symbol, the guilded cage of big ben which still trikes faithfully every quarter hour and on the hour and contemplated the future as I gazed at the union flag at half mast in remberance.
I guess I finally truly know why I made one choice that I did. As I said at the start there had been a lot of changes even in career and one choice was to join the Army Reserve, to train to be a reservist and today it really hit me. Watchi g the flag flutter in the breeze of the day, words like Terrorist attempt, unity, democracy still swimming in my thoughts it came to me, hit me like a ton of bricks as to why I joined the Reserves, its so things like this cant happen on a wider scale, its so we dont see out version of 9/11 its to protect those that need protecting and to protect our way of life.
Am I saddened by what has happened ? Of course. Do I feel a sense of duty to protect not only my country but the ones I love ? Yes.
Many things change, even myself and I dont often make sense and maybe I dont know but I felt the need to say what I have no matter how disjointed. The people of London, the UK and the world will move on from this and it will be another moment in history where something bad happened and the world came together no matter how briefly but for me....
...for me it will be a day when i looked at a statue of Winston Churchill, cried with the people and got validation in my choices.
Not everyday is a happy one but it was a defining day in the weird and wonderfull world of a nerd.
No comments:
Post a Comment